Archives for category: remembering

I would guess that I’m not alone when at times I feel like a nobody.  I would assume many feel the same way at times. Today I was having one of those days. I was having thoughts which led to some very unpleasant feelings. I felt like I was a failure, living a mediocre life (a failure), not living up to my potential (a failure), aging, single, nobody notices me (a failure) the list goes on…One habit I know I need to change is checking social media so often. It actually makes me feel bad but I keep doing it. Like picking a sore hangnail, that type of thing. It hurts, but you keep doing it.

Anyway…..I KNEW I needed to sit. In meditation that is. Sit on my pillow, quiet my mind, quiet my thoughts. I knew I had a heavy heart and felt some anger when I woke up. Angry at feeling like a failure, anger about feeling like a martyr about some things in my life. I walked around this way for the first 4 hours!  I finally was able to sit. It was only for 5 minutes, that’s all the time I had. In that 5 minutes, my anger immediately transformed into actual chemical form and came out of my body as tears. I felt so much better, lighter and happier just after 5 minutes. I felt better but still felt a bit small, my life felt small.

When I was able to finally sit for 20 minutes I could feel all the sadness and smallness clear away. All the negative and lower energy just got transmuted and I was able to resonate with the finer, higher subtle energies. I mediated until I was sitting in nothingness and “I “was no longer important. The light flowing in me, around me and as me I suppose, was amazing. I guess you could say my ego was gone and my little world and feeling like a big nothing had been transformed and I was now in reality, in the nothingness of it all.

I heard once that planet Earth is the planet of suffering. I believe it is true. I also believe you can mediate and wake up and overcome much of the suffering. When you’re able to do this, your job here is done. You’ve completed your biggest mission, to wake up from the dream. But there are no free lunches, you must earn everything.  It’s a daily practice, a daily discipline. Constantly. Letting. Go.

I hope this helped to remind someone of the work, that it works and that it’s important.

I am cleansed of the debris that no longer belongs to me. And. So. Can. You.

~Jillpexels-photo.jpg

 

 

I share this short story in hope that it may help someone else going through something similar. I’m someone who is very in touch with themselves. But lately I’ve had a lot of BIG things on my mind and it’s causing me to not sleep well and to not be present. It’s a terrible feeling. It feels like my life is passing me by and I’m just numb, not engaged. My kid would speak to me and I would forget what she said because I wasn’t able to really hear her. And then one thought set me free: God’s got me, and I am divinely guided. I could feel my spirit rush back into my body. It’s like fear had taken over my body and there was no room for my spirit. When I remembered the truth about this thing called life the fear flew out of me and my spirit rushed back in. I was able to relax, think straight, smile and most importantly be present for my kid. It’s unbelievable how we can so easily forget. Forget that we are guided and protected and most importantly, not alone. We are a part of something bigger. The Big Man upstairs or something greater than us has our back. Keep Calm, I am a spiritual being

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